Wednesday, December 22, 2023: My Favorite Things #4

My Favorite Thing: Talking on the phone to friends and family!

Daily Diary, Day 1177:

As you may have gathered from reading this newsletter, I spend a good number of hours on the phone. This has increased dramatically since Covid and my decision to continue to avoid meeting people in public, closed spaces or to travel.

Some of these calls are with family. For example, I have a phone call (actually a zoom call) scheduled for later today with my cousin Ed. He is the youngest of the 11 cousins on my mother’s side, and lives in New York state. I’ve only seen him in person twice in the past 40 years, both times at family reunions. Covid, and the illnesses and deaths of a couple of other cousins, got us emailing, and I think this is the third time we’ve done a zoom call in the past few months. There is something particularly comforting talking to people with whom you have a life-time of shared memories and familial connections. Update, we have continued with this, and the last call my cousin Fran joined us on Zoom, which will now be our new habit.

Then there are friends, both old and new. Tomorrow, I have a phone call scheduled with a friend I met in graduate school, over 45 years ago. We have only lived in the same city for a couple of years since then, and may go for years without seeing each other in person, but we have remained fast friends all these years. She even flew out to Texas to be with us during the birth of our daughter. I know all about her family, she knows all about mine, and we can talk for hours about politics, our work, our friends, the state of the world, and our arthritis… The first photo is one my husband took of me talking to her, 40 years ago, the first time we were separated by distance!

I also have other friends I made through cyberspace and keep up our relationship by phone. For example, there is an author I met in cyberspace and got to know better at conventions we both attended. I now try to keep touch in with her by phone at least every month or so. Update: Just had a lovely long call with her last Friday.

There are also quite a number of local friends I have made because we belong to the same organization. We used to see each other at meetings and go out to lunch and other events together, but now, we see each other in weekly zoom meeting and talk on the phone.

When the phone rings (and caller ID says it is someone I know) or someone texts and says can I call? I generally get a little shot of joy. I love the human contact, hearing other people’s stories, and telling my own. I get pleasure out of being of service to someone who is feeling lonely, or needs to vent, or wants my help trying to figure out something. And in the new reality of my more isolated life, these calls help me as much as they may help them.

In writing this, I was reminded of the fact that one of the clearest memories I have of my mother when I was growing up was her on the phone. She had this little desk next to the kitchen and she would sit at that desk for hours, phone to her ear. (I found this picture of her recently, notice the green phone.) She was either organizing something (her list of volunteer jobs were endless) or talking to a friend. She was definitely the person people called when they felt troubled, and she was never happier when she could be of help, even if all she could do was listen. The letters that poured in at her death kept repeating the phrase over and over, that she was such a good friend.

The phone, at this time in my life, has permitted me to play that role as well, and for that I am truly grateful.

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In case you aren’t sure how you got here, I’m Mary Louisa Locke, the author of the USA Today best-selling Victorian San Francisco Mystery series and the Caelestis Science Fiction series. This is my newsletter reflecting on my life as an indie author trying to age gracefully. If you would like to subscribe or become a patron (nothing goes behind a paywall, you just get to know I can spend more time writing and less time marketing if you decide to do so), you can subscribe or upgrade by clicking the little button below. If you enjoyed this post, please do click on the heart and/or share with your friends, and I always welcome comments! Thanks!